California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
AOC says she was ‘just kidding about that Green New Deal stuff’ as she cranks the heat up to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one's carbon footprint. But...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Ukraine repays ‘Friend of the State’ Joe Biden with new coin
Amidst controversy regarding the Donald Trump impeachment, the Republic of Ukraine has honored the long-time "Friend of the State" Joe...
DNC unveils nanny tranny program for freshman congresspersons
In an effort to become more universally inclusive, the Democratic National Convention has kicked off a new program that pairs...
Schiff begins impeachment hearings to figure out why he’s holding impeachment hearings
Rep. Adam Schiff kicked off the long-awaited impeachment hearings today in order to figure out why he's holding the impeachment...
Buttigieg wants to replace ‘bigoted, patriarchal’ standard alphabet with gay one
Pete Buttigieg has spent some time thinking on how to strengthen the intersectional structures largely absent in the lives of...
Kanye West will try to convert Joel Osteen to Christianity at his church Sunday
Kanye West, who recently became a Christian and made Times Square light up with "Jesus is King" will be attempting...
Clinton says she is being urged by ‘many, many, many personalities’ to run in 2020
Hillary Clinton on Tuesday declined to rule out launching a future presidential campaign after her two failed bids, saying “many,...
BREAKING: Popeyes goes 24 hours without a brawl or shooting
In what some are calling a miracle, the fast food chain Popeyes has made it 24 hours without a brawl...
San Francisco mandates wall-size murals of Greta Thunberg in every apartment
The San Francisco City Council has approved a measure to mandate a wall-sized mural of teen climate activist Greta Thunberg...
Millennial stunned he didn’t get a job after replying “OK Boomer” to every interview question
Local Millennial Braiden Stone was stunned he didn't get a job for a prominent tech firm in the area after...
