BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: France surrenders to invading migrants
PARIS—Anxious to finally surrender to someone for the first time in years, the French government has officially announced its surrender...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Rapper 50 Cent changes name to 85 Cent to reflect current inflation
In an unprecedented move, rapper and entrepreneur Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent, has officially changed his stage name...
Pope Francis excommunicates Archbishop Viganò for being ‘too Catholic’
Pope Francis has officially excommunicated Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò for being "too Catholic," leaving the disgraced cleric to fend for...
BREAKING: Obama officially cuts off Biden’s adrenochrome supply
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Barack Obama has officially announced that he is cutting off President Joe Biden's adrenochrome supply, leaving the...
Biden wishes Americans a happy ‘Dependence Day’
WASHINGTON, DC--Following on his predecessor Barack Obama's tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a "Happy Dependence Day" this July...
BREAKING: Biden has been informed that he ‘definitely’ wants to stay in the presidential race
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning yet not entirely surprising development, President* Joe Biden has confirmed his unwavering commitment to the 2024...
Harris removes racist white stripes from US flag in time for 4th of July
WASHINGTON, DC—Following up on a campaign promise to remove the racist white stripes from the US flag, President Vice President...
BREAKING: Biden Hires Jeffrey Toobin to Help Him Become a “Master Debater”
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move to enhance his debate skills ahead of the upcoming presidential election, President* Joe Biden has...
Creators of Pride Month launch Extreme Avarice Month in July
US—Working off the success of the wildly popular June Pride Month, creators have launched the sequel, "Extreme Avarice Month" in...
