Bongino Blinks “CORRUPTION” In Morse Code During TV Interview 
Genesius Times officially endorses AOC-Crockett 2028 Presidential Ticket: ‘It’s a No-Brainer’ 
BREAKING: Republicans pass $5 trillion bill to figure out how to cut spending by spending more 
EYEWITNESS: Local baby recounts harrowing experience when she realized there was a fire in a neighborhood building 
BREAKING: Biden’s proctologist Hillarina Clintosky says he has aggressive form of prostate cancer 
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring
Hong Kong – In a bizarre twist to the ongoing U.S.-China tariff war, the cost of flights carrying rubber dog...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume
Evergreen Meadows, Suburbia – In a tragic yet fragrant turn of events, local man Carl Jenkins, 52, was pronounced dead...
Senators advised not to wear their Qipaos while speaking about China tariffs
Washington, D.C. – The Senate chamber turned into a sartorial circus this week as senators were cautioned against wearing qipaos...
BREAKING: Amy Coney Barrett gets face tattoos in solidarity with MS-13 gang members
Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett debuted an audacious new style this week: a full array of face tattoos inked...
Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto
In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...
BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs
WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...
Dems who haven’t met a tax they didn’t love now worried about tariffs
For all of modern history, Democrats have had one consistent trait: they haven't really cared if the government makes things...
BRILLIANT: Tesla unveils ‘Original’ and ‘Extra Crispy’ models
AUSTIN—In a move that’s equal parts genius and gloriously unhinged, Elon Musk has once again turned disaster into dollar signs,...
Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster
In a feat of stoic endurance that left even the most jaded Capitol Hill observers in awe, Senate Minority Leader...
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!”
In a stunning display of political stamina and theatrical flair, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) concluded a grueling 17-hour filibuster on...
