White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
CNN: How Biden’s global thermonuclear war could be great for your skin 
California Election officials: ‘Count is taking so long because we’re waiting for people to die so that they can vote Democrat’ 
VIDEO: Genesius Times has gained exclusive video from hacker of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors 
FLASH FLOOD WARNING in Several U.S. Cities Due to Liberal Tears Following Trump Victory
(New York, NY) — The National Weather Service has issued an urgent flash flood warning as record-breaking liberal tears inundate...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
REPORT: 15 million Biden voters tragically died again before they could vote for Kamala Harris
Washington, D.C. — In an unexpected turn of events, the Harris campaign was dealt a heavy blow today as it...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris given her old job at McDonald’s following election loss
Oakland, CA — In the wake of a tumultuous election, Kamala Harris has reportedly rejoined the workforce at an Oakland...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney receives deployment orders to Iran following Trump 2024 election victory
WASHINGTON, DC—Former Representative Liz Cheney was recently surprised by an unexpected call to service following President Trump's 2024 victory. Just...
BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for winning the 2024 election
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for winning the 2024 presidential election. The news has sent shockwaves through...
BREAKING: Millions of women report for handmaid duty following Trump’s stunning victory
US—The federal government have instructed millions of women across the country to report for "handmaid duty" following Donald Trump's stunning...
BREAKING: America elects Literally Hitler as president despite Joe Scarborough’s warnings
America has elected "Literally Hitler" as its president, despite numerous warnings from Joe Scarborough and other political commentators. The news...
BREAKING: Joe Biden re-enters presidential race after seeing Kamala Harris lose election
US—Joe Biden has announced that he will re-enter the presidential race after witnessing Kamala Harris's defeat in the 2024 election....
Elon Musk opens salt mines sourced from liberal tears as Trump wins 2024 election
AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely...
WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
