BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason 
BREAKING: Federal judge orders bombs removed from Tesla dealership to be put back and detonated 
BREAKING: Fedral Judge Signs Temperairy Restrayneing Ordur To Save Dept Of Educ. 
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88 
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to vote ‘No’ on Tulsi Gabbard
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic moment that left the Senate chamber in stunned silence—or perhaps just mild confusion—Senate Minority...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: ‘USAID money laundering protects us from all the germs on money’
Listen, I’ve been saying it for years: Money is disgusting. Like, scientifically, microbially, tuna-smelling disgusting. A single dollar bill can...
Schumer demands a thorough probe of Elon Musk’s Harry Bōlz for any possible privacy violations
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has called for an immediate...
BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole says it’s unconstitutional for Trump to make America great again
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising judicial decision at 07:13 AM on February 10, 2025, Federal District Judge Hugh Jassole...
JUST IN: Brave young Democrat influencers cut off their testicles in protest of Trump
In an unprecedented display of political fervor, a group of young, progressive activists known as the "Brave Democrats" - comprised...
Trump is cutting government power and waste: LITERALLY HITLER!
In an era where the very fabric of our society is being unraveled by the threads of efficiency, one man...
Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’
Washington, D.C.—As the DOGE audit unearths what many describe as egregious misuse of funds within USAID, Democrats have taken to...
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’
THE CITY OF WASHINGTON—With the city's skyline transformed into a canvas for divine intervention, Elon, draped in robes that glowed...
Chuck Schumer celebrates Black History Month by devouring rack of ribs and whole watermelon at press conference
WASHINGTON, DC—In an act of cultural appreciation—or perhaps a severe misinterpretation of cultural sensitivity—Chuck Schumer held a press conference to...
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling
Washington, DC—The political landscape has been rocked by the revelation that Big Balls, once known only in the dark corners...
