Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Obama orders drone strike to distract from reports he’s gay
In a shocking turn of events, former President Barack Obama has reportedly ordered a drone strike as a distraction from...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
New ‘free speech’ theater opens in Portland: patrons can yell ‘FIRE!’ if they want
PORTLAND—A controversial new “free speech” theater opened in the thriving Portland arts district last night, triggering protests by firefighters and...
San Francisco police arrest peaceful shoplifter for not wearing a mask
SAN FRANCISCO—In a startling turn of events, the city of San Francisco has taken a bold step in its ongoing...
Deaf signer deliberately misquotes DeSantis: ‘Hurricanes make me super happy!’
FLORIDA—A deaf signer with ties to the Campaign To Re-Elect Joe Biden deliberately misquoted Republican presidential candidate Ron DeSantis during...
BREAKING: Dr. Jill Biden tests positive for COVID-19
In a shocking turn of events, Dr. Jill Biden, First Lady of the United States, has tested positive for COVID-19....
Homeless man ends WGA strike by mistakenly joining picket line: ‘Will work for food!’
HOLLYWOOD—Privileged writers and studio executives are celebrating today after a homeless man inadvertently ended the 100+ day strike between the...
VP Harris freezes during speech: media calls it “breathtaking.”
DETROIT—Vice President Kamala Harris froze for almost 30 minutes during a speech at a Detroit manufacturing plant last night, prompting...
BREAKING: Biden opens new Presidential library of his pseudonyms
In a surprising move that has left political pundits and historians scratching their heads, President Biden has unveiled his latest...
Biden comforts Florida hurricane victims with harrowing story of a devastating fart that blew all of his classified documents around
In a surprising attempt at empathizing with hurricane-stricken Floridians, President Biden shared a harrowing tale that left many scratching their...
Biden urges Floridians to protect themselves from Hurricane Idalia by ‘getting vaccinated now’
In an unexpected twist, President Biden has unveiled his latest strategy for disaster preparedness: encouraging Floridians to protect themselves from...
