Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Media Gaslighting on Gas Stoves so Intense It’ll Supply Enough Gas for a Lifetime
The media has been all up in a frenzy these past few days over a federal proposal to ban gas...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Democrats to Impeach Trump Over Biden’s Classified Documents Scandal
WASHINGTON, DC—After papers with the highest classification level were found in various locations belonging to President Joe Biden, Democrats are...
WEF unveils bathrooms for both men and lizard people at 2023 conference
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—The World Economic Forum held in Davos every year is getting new bathrooms which will be used by both...
Hillary Clinton to Offer Class at Columbia on How to Break the Law and Get Away With It
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will become a professor at Columbia University focusing on how to break the law...
AOC recommends burning books instead of using gas stoves to cook
WASHINGTON, DC—Heated remarks continue in the 'stove wars' as Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) mocked Republicans on Thursday evening for their 'meltdown' over...
‘Spare’ ghostwriter miffed about getting no attention, writes his own memoir entitled ‘Spare’
The ghostwriter for Prince Harry's memoir 'Spare'—John Joseph Moehringer (JR Moehringer)—has been feeling a little left out since everyone's focused...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s email server found in Joe Biden’s garage
WILMINGTON, DE—Lawyers for President* Joe Biden said they have discovered Hillary Clinton's email server in Biden's garage. The server was...
OPINION: How Can You Break the Law When You are The Law?
I am so freaking tired of these Con-servatives whining about double standards! “Waa the FBI raided Trump but not Biden...
BREAKING: FBI to investigate noose found in Biden’s garage as possible hate crime
WILMINGTON, DE—The FBI is sending fifteen agents to the Wilmington home of President* Joe Biden after it was discovered that...
BREAKING: Lisa Marie Presley hospitalized after suffering a coincidence
Lisa Marie Presley was rushed to a hospital Thursday after officials responded to her home for a coincidence, according to reports....
