Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
BREAKING: New York Renamed ‘New Yawk’ so Residents Will Actually Pronounce the State’s Name Correctly
New Yorkers are notorious for dropping the letter ‘r’ in every word they say. Literally. Like the word lobster sounds...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
You can’t ask vax status of someone who died suddenly, just of people who want a job or to eat
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's totally inappropriate to ask the vaccination status of someone who...
Donate today to help us fight Fish Mouth Syndrome!
Fish mouth syndrome is spreading across the globe and affecting millions, cutting these humorless lives short by days and sometimes...
CNN: Bills safety Damar Hamlin suffers rare complication to climate change on MNF
(CNN) The US sports community was united in expressing concern Monday night after the collapse of Damar Hamlin during the game between...
BREAKING: Rob Reiner hospitalized with acute TDS after Trump taxes show nothing amiss
NEW YORK--Vocal leftist Rob Reiner was hospitalized yesterday with acute Trump derangement syndrome after the House Ways and Means Committee...
BREAKING: All sex trafficking charges against Andrew Tate dropped after he says he was a client of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein
BUCHAREST—All sex trafficking charges against former MMA fighter and TikTok influencer Andrew Tate and his brother have been dropped after...
Brave Ukrainian soldier jumps on pile of Russian fentanyl to save fellow soldiers
A brave unknown soldier (pictured above) jumped on a pile of Russian fentanyl to save his fellow soldiers. He will...
BREAKING: Congress narrowly averts being fiscally responsible again
US—Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell joined the Democrats in passing a funding bill which narrowly averted the Congress being fiscally...
BREAKING: El Paso asks to join Egypt to qualify for some of $410M Mid East border security budget
US—The Texas border town of El Paso has asked to join the African country of Egypt in order to quality...
BREAKING: Biden reminds Zelensky that ‘Nothing is free, kid’ during photo op
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden reminded Ukraine President* Volodymyr Zelensky that "Nothing is free, kid," during a photo op at...
