Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan will be raising the latest Royal Baby as a black child so that he will have the ability to complain about his oppression and lack of privilege.
The child, whose full name is Archibold Harrison Filthyrich Silverspoon Mufasa Mountbatton Windsor will also be raised as a species-fluid Martian and is one of the most privileged persons in the history of the world, but, his parents thought it was important to stress his ancestral history of oppression so that he has a leg up in the victim generation.
“True, it will have an opulent life free from want and full of every opportunity known to humanity,” Duchess Meghan said of her offspring, “but we feel very strongly that it should feel as much as a victim as possible to be able to compete against some of the other privileged crybabies out there today.”
People have instantly taken to the designation, offering to pay reparations for oppression he’s receiving through socialism. The UK Parliament has agreed in principle to raise his stipend for doing nothing to 7 million £.
“This is child–or Martian–or whatever it is– is clearly an oppressed organism,” analyst Billy Jones said. “I mean the fact that I can’t even say its gender without tiptoeing on eggshells is an indication of the level of oppression.”