I’d Rather Have Global Thermonuclear War Than World Peace Orchestrated by Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive being on this overheating, colonialist rock we call Earth—a transwoman valiantly trapped in the body...
Donald Trump
BREAKING: Hakeem Jeffries filibusters law that officially labels him ‘Dollar Store Obama’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) launched a marathon filibuster yesterday to block the passage of a law that,...
In attempt to retain subscribers, Netflix releases new Trump docudrama series
LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to retain fleeing subscribers, Netflix has unveiled Trump: The Reimagining, a new docudrama...
BREAKING: Trump responds to Comey’s ‘8647’ post with ‘FAFO’ post
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump, currently embroiled in his second term, responded to a cryptic social media post by former FBI...
AOC: If you take Tylenol PM while pregnant, your child will only be autistic at night
America, we’ve been played. Big Pharma’s been slipping us the oldest trick in their corporate playbook, and it’s time to...
Trump declines call for unity with demonic commies who want him and all his followers dead
US—President Donald J. Trump has declined to hold hands and sing unity anthems with self-described demonic communists, a group that...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns President Trump’s Claim That He’s Still Alive
WASHINGTON, DC—Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has formally overturned President Donald J. Trump’s repeated statements that he is “alive and well,”...
Chicago proves it doesn’t need National Guard by only killing 7 and injuring 54 over weekend
In a bold display of civic pride, Chicago residents celebrated the city’s decision to keep the National Guard at bay...
Gavin Newsom gets bold makeover to ‘appear more presidential’
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom unveiled a dramatic new look this week, sporting a bleach-blond combover and a radiant spray tan...
Chicago Mayor vows to fight Trump if he tries to take away the right of his people to rape and murder each other
CHICAGO — In a fiery press conference, Mayor Brandon Johnson declared he is ready to “go to war” with former...
