BREAKING: Bin Laden Now Polling Higher Than Biden With Democrats In 12 States
NEW YORK—In an unexpected twist of political sentiments, a recent survey has revealed that Osama bin Laden, the notorious mastermind...
Joe Biden
Newsom gives Xi and Biden authentic San Fran experience during APEC, letting them poop on the sidewalk with homeless drug addicts
SAN FRANCISCO—Governor Gavin Newsom, worried that Chinese President Xi Jinping and U.S. President Joe Biden wouldn't get a taste of...
Speaker Johnson climbs mountain of Biden corruption evidence to declare ‘There’s not enough evidence to impeach Biden’
In a stunning display of political acrobatics, Speaker of the House, John Johnson, ascended the treacherous peak of evidence of...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
FBI Shuts Down Investigation Of Eric Adams’s Finances After He Writes ‘Loan Repayment’ On All Checks
NEW YORK—In a shocking turn of events that has left financial investigators baffled, the FBI has abruptly suspended its probe...
Amid inflation, Millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune
Amid staggering inflation, Millennials have been forced to change their financial habits. Most worrisome is that Millennial contestants on Wheel...
Biden eases fears of nuclear war by posting ‘Nuke Free Zones’ signs around the country
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has allayed all fears of global thermonuclear war by posting "Nuke Free Zone" signs all over...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
