Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone
Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come...
Vladimir Putin
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
BREAKING: Vladimir Putin completely eradicates COVID by invading Ukraine
US—In a miraculous turn of events, Vladimir Putin has eradicated COVID-19 from the face of the earth by invading Ukraine....
BREAKING: Biden threatens to misgender Putin if Russia doesn’t leave Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden says he is prepared retaliate for the Ukraine invasion by misgendering Vladimir Putin. “Our number...
AOC horrified Russia is using ‘gas-powered’ tanks to run over Ukrainians instead of hybrids
KYIV—The streets of the capital have turned into chaos after Russia has invaded the Ukraine with tanks and armored vehicles....
AOC asks Putin for small part of Ukraine to start her utopia in
BROOKLYN—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has asked Russian despot Putin for a small part of the Ukraine she’s had her eye on for...
Putin wins Nobel Peace Prize for painting ‘Black Lives Matter’ on his invading tanks
OSLO—The International Nobel Committee has awarded Vladimir Putin with the 2022 Nobel Peace Prize after it was discovered he's invading...
POLL: Who is a bigger threat to America: Vladimir Putin or Joe Biden?
Russian President Vladimir Putin is threatening to invade Ukraine again, but we may have a bigger threat to America in...
BREAKING: Trudeau retaliates for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine by declaring war on Canada
OTTAWA—Following the aggressive move by Russia to move troops into two breakaway regions of eastern Ukraine, Canadian Prime Minister Justin...
BREAKING: After consulting trusted advisors, Biden now says Ukraine will invade Russia any day now
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden, after spending almost two hours alone, at his Oval Office desk, consulting (babbling aimlessly) with his closest...
