Real ‘Butcher of Mariupol’ says he’s not giving up his title to some Russian General over a few dead friends
MARIUPOL, UKRAINE—Viktor Morozova has been cutting meat and serving the local community since he was ‘only as tall as a...
Vladimir Putin
Local leftist swaps ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker with ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!'...
COVID-positive Barack Obama will social distance from Michelle for another 4 years
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- After testing positive for COVID-19, former President Barack Obama says he will continue to social distance from Michelle,...
Biden bans buying oil from Russia; mandates buying Russian oil from China marked up 10%
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday the U.S. will ban all oil imports from Russia and require imports of...
Putin opens Uyghur concentration camp to make everyone like him again
MOSCOW—After receiving widespread condemnation for his invasion of Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin has opened up Russia's very own Uyghur...
CNN threatens to stop delivering fake news to Russia if they don’t withdraw from Ukraine
ATLANTA—The leader of fake news distribution in the West, CNN, is threatening to stop delivering their disinformation to Russia if...
Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone
Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
BREAKING: Vladimir Putin completely eradicates COVID by invading Ukraine
US—In a miraculous turn of events, Vladimir Putin has eradicated COVID-19 from the face of the earth by invading Ukraine....
BREAKING: Biden threatens to misgender Putin if Russia doesn’t leave Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden says he is prepared retaliate for the Ukraine invasion by misgendering Vladimir Putin. “Our number...
