Biden Urges Congress: ‘Make Me President So I Can Finally Fix the Border’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made an unprecedented plea to Congress, urging lawmakers to declare him president so he can...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Senate border bill secures the US border by sending $100 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate has passed a groundbreaking border security bill aimed at securing the US-Mexico border by sending a whopping...
MSNBC Praises Biden for not checking wristwatch for returning dead soldiers ceremony
In a groundbreaking moment of presidential prowess, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow lauded President* Biden for his extraordinary commitment to not checking...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Biden’s 10 million new illegal immigrants as dependents on your taxes
President* Joe Biden's recent immigration policy has inadvertently created a unique opportunity for savvy taxpayers to expand their households and,...
BREAKING: France surrenders immediately following Biden’s bombing of Iraq and Syria
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, France has once again taken the lead in the Surrender Olympics, this time...
In Honor Of Black History Month U.S. Treasury Offers Limited Edition Commemorative Fake $20 Bill
In a groundbreaking move to celebrate Black History Month, the U.S. Treasury has announced the release of a limited edition...
BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
BREAKING: Pilot of drone that accidentally killed 3 American service members identified
WASHINGTON, DC—The pilot of the drone that accidentally killed three American service men in Jordan has been identified as President*...
Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year
President* Joe Biden has reportedly decided to make history by simultaneously kickstarting both World War III and a Civil War,...
Texas Razorwire Allowed To Stay After it Identifies As a Harmless Slinky
In a baffling yet oddly poetic turn of events, the controversial razor wire lining the Texas border has declared its...
