Biden executive order punishes parents who don’t chop off the arms of kids who identify as T-Rex
WASHINGTON, DC–President* Joe Biden signed legislation yesterday that criminalizes parents who don't chop off the arms of their children who...
LGBTQ
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
BREAKING: Budweiser changes slogan from ‘King of Beers’ to ‘Drag Queen of Beers’
ST. LOUIS—Budweiser has doubled down on its support of the transgender community by announcing that it is changing its long-standing...
Biden calls for national day of mourning for trans person who was viciously misgendered after mostly peacefully killing some people
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has announced that he will be calling for a national day of mourning for Audrey...
BREAKING: Nashville shooter’s pronouns changed to was/were during school shooting
NASHVILLE—28-year-old biological female Audrey Hale, who used the pronouns he/him before killing six people at Covenant School Monday, had her...
BREAKING: California launches guaranteed income program for all human turds in the state
California has launched a guaranteed income program for the state's human turd residents to help with financial insecurity. Governor Gavin Newsom...
Biden says all migrant children sent to his home in Delaware will be met with open arms in his shower
SHADY ACRES, DE—President* Joe Biden said that all migrant children who are sent to his home in Delaware will be...
Heavily-armed Antifa to stand guard over Biden’s ‘kid-friendly’ showers from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the successful defense of a kid-friendly drag show in Texas, President* Biden has employed heavily-armed Antifas to stand...
BREAKING: Biden cancels 4th of July for being transphobic
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has canceled the Fourth of July national holiday for being transphobic. "Since there were only CIS-gendered...
