After scary heart surgery, Bernie decides he’s the candidate without a brain
If I only had a brain, Bernie Sanders’s campaign aides are reporting, has been on the lips of the octogenarian...
Year: 2019
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders fakes heart attack to get out of paying for dinner again
Democratic presidential primary contender Bernie Sanders is off the campaign trail for a few days after he underwent emergency surgery Tuesday...
Russia to launch investigation to determine if any Democrats have ties to United States
Officials at the top of Russian government have launched an investigation to determine if anyone in the Democratic Party has...
Parents help their children fight climate change by taking iPhones, cars away from them
Greta Thunberg has launched a revolution of children and young adults skipping science class to scream about climate change because,...
Thunberg to Pope, “Have you accepted climate change as your lord and savior?”
The path of the evangelist is one of constant hope and failure, so one should not read too much into...
BREAKING: Obama, Clintons revealed to be white supremacists
As everyone is aware, the "okay" hand gesture is a longtime white supremacist symbol, and everyone using it is basically...
Breaking: Pope Francis endorses Elizabeth Warren for President
Not one to shy away from political discourse, Pope Francis has thrown his hat—er headdress—into the discussion of who will...
BREAKING: Local man nominated for Nobel Prize after constantly complaining about the heat
Local resident Sam Bilkie has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after consistent complaining about the heat this summer....
Greta Thunberg sails away on hot air balloon powered by her own fiery breath
Opposed to the horrific gas guzzlers that are transatlantic jet liners, Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg arrived in the US...
#BelieveSurvivors protestors disbelieve man who survived socialism
A young Russian man was ousted from the bi-weekly Women’s March in Washington D.C. yesterday while displaying a sign with...
