Local ladies attend ‘Worst clam rally in history’
WALKER, LA — Three local woman prepared their finest clam dishes in preparation for their first clam rally. Three hours...
Year: 2020
CDC reclassifies COVID-19 as a mental illness because it’s making everyone certifiably insane
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have reclassified the COVID-19 disease and its counterpart SARS CoV-2 as a...
Stacy Abrams threatens to eat Joe Biden if he doesn’t select her as running mate
Stacy Abrams has threatened to eat Joe Biden if he didn't pick her as his running mate. No, not break...
Nancy Pelosi declares herself the one and only United States congressperson
United States Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of California's 12th Congressional District has used the rarely mentioned Plague Clause of the US...
Local woman cleans TV with anti-virus wipe; instantly kills CNN, MSNBC, ABC
A local woman was shocked at how effective her anti-virus cleaning wipes are. With just one wipe, she was able...
Hospitals making up for lost revenue by adding bed-side slot machines
President Trump, just yesterday, asked his Cabinet to 'think out of the box' on healthcare. Secretary of Casinos, Professor Hold...
BREAKING: 66 people died in Chicago today from COVID-19-related gunshot wounds
CHICAGO — Public health officials were stunned as they added 66 people to the COVID-19 death toll today. All 66...
Hipster still wearing skinny jeans despite not being able to show them off in Zoom meetings
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Strictly abiding by Michigan's lock-down regulations, hipster Andrew Sadura is still wearing his favorite pair of...
LA Health Dept. giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
LOS ANGELES — The LA Department of Health is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Trump mandates all hotels include a copy of ‘The Coronavirus Bible’ during pandemic
President Trump has mandated that all hotels replace their Gideons Bible with a copy of "The Coronavirus Bible (Revised Satirical...
