Nancy Pelosi declares herself the one and only United States congressperson
United States Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of California's 12th Congressional District has used the rarely mentioned Plague Clause of the US...
Year: 2020
Local woman cleans TV with anti-virus wipe; instantly kills CNN, MSNBC, ABC
A local woman was shocked at how effective her anti-virus cleaning wipes are. With just one wipe, she was able...
Hospitals making up for lost revenue by adding bed-side slot machines
President Trump, just yesterday, asked his Cabinet to 'think out of the box' on healthcare. Secretary of Casinos, Professor Hold...
BREAKING: 66 people died in Chicago today from COVID-19-related gunshot wounds
CHICAGO — Public health officials were stunned as they added 66 people to the COVID-19 death toll today. All 66...
Hipster still wearing skinny jeans despite not being able to show them off in Zoom meetings
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Strictly abiding by Michigan's lock-down regulations, hipster Andrew Sadura is still wearing his favorite pair of...
LA Health Dept. giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
LOS ANGELES — The LA Department of Health is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Trump mandates all hotels include a copy of ‘The Coronavirus Bible’ during pandemic
President Trump has mandated that all hotels replace their Gideons Bible with a copy of "The Coronavirus Bible (Revised Satirical...
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
