Walmart opens new riot section in all of its stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special rioting section in all of its stores....
Month: April 2021
Ben and Jerry’s launches ‘Be Less Vanilla’ ice cream with arsenic to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben and Jerry’s will begin including the deadly toxin arsenic in their "Be Less Vanilla" ice cream to fight...
Biden announces universal castration in order to stop sexual assault and regulate ‘ghost penises’
WASHINGTON, DC—President *Joe Biden announced major steps to address sexual assault today, using the executive authority to write laws. Biden announced six...
AOC proposes infrastructure bill where the nation’s infrastructure is destroyed and rebuilt again
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez offered her own infrastructure bill earlier today. The bill would require the government to completely destroy...
LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike stores if you use promo #racialjustice
MINNEAPOLIS—For a limited time only, residents can get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike store when they use the promo code...
BREAKING: Biden makes it illegal to arrest any Person of Color for any crime ever
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the trial of Derek Chauvin who was charged with making George Floyd "eat too many drugs" before getting...
Local small business eyes big riches by getting woke
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX- Following the example of popular mega-corporations, local landscaper George Feldman's growing business is adopting woke politics in...
Biden: ‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…slavery is back on the table’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that "no constitutional amendment is absolute."...
BREAKING: Prince Phillip has information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
LONDON—Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, has information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton, sources close...
Jordan Peterson turns 5 copies of ’12 Rules for Life’ into 5,000
TORONTO- Upon returning to campus following a lengthy sabbatical, University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson was greeted by 5,000 fans...
