BREAKING: In response to Biden’s illegal business deal with China, DOJ to arrest Donald Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to new revelations of illegal business dealings with China, The Department of Justice have issued an arrest...
Year: 2023
BREAKING: Following Several Violations, Constitution in Critical Condition, Sent to Hospital for Emergency Care
DAILY CALLER—The Secret Service confirmed today that the Constitution of the United States was sent to the hospital and is...
BREAKING: Trump to commit violent felony in New York so DA Bragg will drop all charges against him
NEW YORK—Former President Donald Trump is reportedly considering committing a violent felony in New York City in hopes that District...
Biden to burn $100 bills at fireside chats to lower energy costs
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has announced that he will begin burning $100 bills in his fireside chats as a way...
How to get that perfect selfie during the coming global thermonuclear war
In the age of social media, getting the perfect selfie has become a top priority for many people. But what...
BREAKING: President Biden Accidentally Locks Himself in Oval Office, Can’t Find Key
WASHINGTON, DC—CNN reports that President Biden accidentally locked himself in the Oval Office and couldn’t remember where he put the...
Jimmy Carter asks Joe Biden to give his eulogy as the only president who can make him look good by comparison
PLAINS, Georgia—Former President Jimmy Carter has reportedly asked President Joe Biden to give his eulogy, citing Biden's ability to make...
BREAKING: AOC urges special committee to look into lost hour from Daylight Saving Time bank
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has called for a special congressional committee to investigate the lost hour...
BREAKING: President Biden Sells White House for $400 Million to Fund War in Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has officially sold the White House for $400 million to continue funding the war in Ukraine. DC...
Stock traders eagerly awaiting Jim Cramer’s recommendations so they can do the exact opposite
NEW YORK—Stock traders across the country are eagerly awaiting the latest recommendations from CNBC's Jim Cramer, only to immediately do...
