US workers ‘finally able to get some work done’ while Facebook was offline for 2 hours today
US—American workers experienced a surge in productivity not seen since the invention of the coffee break, as Facebook mysteriously went...
Year: 2024
Allowing people to vote for anyone besides Joe Biden is a threat to Democracy!
In an age where the sanctity of democracy is being challenged daily, it's time to address the root of the...
Help Us Celebrate Women’s History Month with our ‘Best-Made Sandwich Contest’
This March, we at Genesius Times want to honor women's history like never before. We're going all out to celebrate...
SCOTUS Decision to allow voters to vote for more than just Biden likely means the end of democracy
NEW YORK—In a stunning blow to the very foundation of American democracy, the Supreme Court of the United States has...
BREAKING: Nikki Haley unanimously nominated Queen of the Swamp
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise coronation ceremony held in the heart of Washington D.C., Nikki Haley, former U.S. ambassador to the...
Amid falling poll numbers, Biden tries a new political strategy
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bid to reverse his declining approval ratings and recapture the elusive magic of his predecessor, President Joe...
BREAKING: Donald Trump says he will leave the country if Donald Trump is elected president
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—In a surprising turn of events that has left pundits scratching their heads and citizens divided, former President Donald...
BREAKING: Due to staggering inflation, February now has 29 days
WASHINGTON, DC—As inflation continues to soar to unprecedented heights, the calendar is feeling the squeeze, with February now slated to...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell to step down from Senate leadership role to focus more on staring blankly into space
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has left Capitol Hill both puzzled and oddly relieved, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has...
President signs executive order making Feb 30th ‘Joe Biden Day’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move aimed at reshaping his legacy and silencing his critics, President* Biden has signed an executive...
