Crown threatens Prince Andrew: 10 more scandals and he’ll have to move into £30m terraced mansion
In a stern memo leaked from the newly rebranded Crown Discipline Office (formerly "Buckingham Palace – Back Office"), the monarchy...
Year: 2026
BREAKING: Mossad sues DOJ for ‘just giving away’ the blackmail material that Epstein had worked so hard to generate for them
In a stunning legal reversal that has left international relations scholars reaching for their strongest coffee, the Mossad today filed...
Billie Eilish shouts “no one is illegal on stolen land” from inside her walled and gated $14 million home
LOS ANGELES – In a moment of raw, unfiltered activism that has already inspired countless Instagram stories, pop superstar Billie...
BREAKING: Walz to deport all American citizens out of Minnesota
In a bold reaffirmation of local sovereignty, Minneapolis residents have begun erecting makeshift borders around their neighborhoods to repel the...
Mike Johnson sees his shadow; means 12 more months of pretending to be a conservative
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a solemn ceremony that blended meteorological tradition with congressional theater, House Speaker Mike Johnson emerged from...
BREAKING: Walz launches MICE to deport ‘invading’ Americans out of Minnesota
ST. PAUL, Minn. — In what aides are calling the most Minnesotan solution to an increasingly un-Minnesotan problem, Governor Tim...
Escape from New York: 2026: New York is a communist utopia sealed off by mountains of garbage
In a bold move to update John Carpenter's 1981 masterpiece for the modern viewer who prefers their dystopias pre-approved by...
AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, why are all my socialist friends in DC multi-millionaires?
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I'd like to share. Lots of idiots out there say that socialism...
Bruce Springsteen releases ‘Born in the Somali-A’ in tribute of the financially savvy immigrants
In a bold artistic pivot that has left fans and critics alike reaching for their tax returns, Bruce Springsteen today...
BREAKING: Trump Ends Minnesota Standoff by Trading Minneapolis for Alberta, Canada
Washington, D.C. – In a move described by White House officials as "the art of the deal on a continental...
