Congress passes law requiring all bills to be at least 10,000 pages long
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress passed a law today requiring that all future bills be at least 10,000 pages long. “We want all...
Rafi Metz
Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.
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The Genesius Times Guide to Cancel Culture
We’ve all heard of cancel culture, but what is it and who does it effect? Will you or I be...
BREAKING: Texas declares each Californian 3/5th of a person
AUSTIN, TX—Texas Gov. Gregg Abbott signed an executive order today declaring Californians in his state three-fifths of a person. “I...
Study finds people have a 475% higher risk of dying from socialism than COVID-19
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Researchers at the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) in Cambridge, MA published an exhaustive study conducted over the...
Cuomo wins Al-Qaeda’s ‘Jihadi of the Year’ prize for killing 3x more Americans than 9/11
MIDDLE EAST—Emmy winner and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo scored another award this week as Al-Qaeda honored him with their...
Shocking study finds 100% of people who support abortion have already been born
WASHINGTON, DC—Researchers at The Brookings Institute recently published a groundbreaking study on the topic of abortion. The study, which was...
BREAKING: Biden promises to end Alzheimer’s by 2008
WASHINGTON, DC—For those still maintaining any doubts about his cognitive and mental state, the following should clear things up: in...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever...
BREAKING: Biden signs executive order changing U.S. motto to ‘In Gov We Trust’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden signed an executive order today changing the national motto from ‘In G-D We Trust’ to ‘In Gov...
Fauci says Americans can stop wearing masks in the year 3082
WASHINGTON, DC—In a hopeful interview today on CBS, Dr. Anthony Fauci said that Americans will be able to stop wearing...
