California Gov. Newsom opens ‘Camp Covid’ for those who question science
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced the opening of Camp Covid near Bakersfield in California's Central Valley. He characterized the facility...
Gumpers
Eva Longoria, Matthew McConaughey star in ‘Gone With the Wind 2’ with Stacey Abrams as ‘Mammy
Olive Stone spilled his whiskey to our Genesius Times reporter, “I haven't been this excited since I made Platoon. It's...
BREAKING: Biden to sell all red US states to China in first 100 days
WASHINGTON DC—Self-identifying President-Elect Joe Biden will sell 23 red states to China in his first 100 days in office. Hunter...
Biden promises to transgender in first 100 days, becoming the first woman president
In a last minute pander, Joe Biden has announced that, if he's elected, he will transition to a woman to...
Biden to ‘start a war or two’ in first 100 days to keep CNN, MSNBC employed
Joe Biden assured the mainstream media, in order to avoid a ‘night of a thousand pink slips’ he will, in...
BREAKING: Biden unilaterally mobilizes dreaded Trunalimunumaprzure
DALLAS, PA--Presidential nominee Joe Biden's attempt to motivate the crowd at the Luzerne County's political rally went abruptly off the...
Coconut-picking monkeys riot COSTCO after PETA forces thousands of job losses
BANGKOK--Monkeys in major Thai cities turned to rioting after PETA pressure on retailers forces thousands into joblessness and poverty. A...
Hunter Biden secures election night sponsors for his dad
WILMINGTON, DE—Hunter Biden has secured several election night sponsors for his dad, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. “I knew Hunter...
POLL: 93.7% of all poll numbers are made up
BOSTON—MIT spokesman, Paul Rolls put it right out there, “Polls are full of sh*t! Our poll using our monster super...
BREAKING: MSNBC offers Melania Rachel Maddow’s spot if Donald drops out of the race
MSNBC calls it a 'win-win', an off season trade, 'in with the new, out with the old'. No matter how...
