BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs has tragically committed suicide in Manhattan jail tomorrow
NEW YORK—Sean “Diddy” Combs, the iconic hip-hop mogul, has tragically committed suicide in a Manhattan jail tomorrow. Despite the event...
BREAKING: DOJ charges 2nd would-be Trump assassin with jaywalking and mostly-peacefully protesting without a permit
MAR-A-LAGO, FL The man who allegedly attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump has been formally charged—not with attempted murder,...
OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with second official CIA assassination attempt of him
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time...
Oxford to discontinue “Is the Pope Catholic?” idiom
After several years of questionable Catholicism by Pope Francis, Oxford, publisher of the Official World Idiom Book, has announced it...
LEAKED: Taylor Swift contract to endorse Kamala Harris for $100,000 and lifetime supply of adrenochrome
NEW YORK—A leaked contract has revealed that pop megastar Taylor Swift is allegedly set to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris...
BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets
Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new political action group,...
Taylor Swift is growing out her mustache and armpit hair until Trump is taken off the 2024 ballot
NEW YORK—In a bold move, pop sensation Taylor Swift has announced that she will not shave her mustache or armpit...
AOC hosts ‘Cooking with Communism’, shows you how to cook your pets
The new smash hit social video show "Cooking with Communism" stars democratic socialist Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who takes questions while...
