In effort to woo Trump voters, Biden tries new hairdo
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to understand and woo Trump supporters, Dominion-select President Joe Biden is trying a new hairdo. "I...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...
BREAKING: President playing games while Americans die is heartwarming now
(CNN) Americans are dying at unprecedented levels from that scary disease. But now and for the foreseeable future, any time...
Cuomo blames his pen for making him sign nursing home order that killed thousands
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo has accepted the responsibility of blaming his pen for making him sign the nursing home order,...
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
Local dad finally gets a rest after exhausting week of turning off the lights for everyone else
Local father of five adorable munchkins, Peter Bougereaux was finally able to rest on the couch this evening after an...
BREAKING: Joe Biden gets stuck sniffing woman who used Gorilla Glue for hairspray
BATON ROUGE, LA—TikToker Tessica Brown thought she had seen the end of her problems after uploading a video in which...
Disney gives all princesses a brave makeover to fight wrongthink
VISTA DE MAL, CA—In its campaign to fight wrongthink, Disney has given all of their celebrated princesses a stunning and...
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
To be more inclusive, Disney fires only woman on ‘The Mandalorian’
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In an effort to be more inclusive, Disney has fired Gina Carano, the only female on their...
