BREAKING: Walls work now
WASHINGTON, DC—After years of telling people that walls do not work to keep people out of the United States, Democrats...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t condemned violence in last 3.4 seconds
(CNN) President Donald Trump has not denounced violence in the last 3.4 seconds, which clearly means that he supports a violence insurrection...
BREAKING: Biden declares Republicans will only get 3/5ths of a vote from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold strategy to unify the country, President-elect Joe Biden has declared that, going forward, Republicans will only...
BREAKING: Trump says he won’t leave White House because of ban on evictions
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump issued a statement saying that he won't leave the White House next week when his term ends...
AOC demands Biden’s concentration camps use 100% renewable energy
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has publicly demanded that President-elect Joe Biden's concentration camps set to open January 21...
BREAKING: Biden promises jail time for everyone who voted for Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has issued a statement declaring everyone who voted for Trump a "domestic terrorist" and promising jail...
BREAKING: Twitter CEO caught shooting messenger pigeons sent by the Trump Team
NEW YORK--Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was caught shooting messenger pigeons being send by the Trump Team at Trump Tower. The...
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
