Mike Pence gets millions of atheists to pray to God he becomes president
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Mike Pence's theocratic dictatorship is nearly complete. One of the final pieces to the puzzle was getting...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Hillary Clinton to dress up as president for 4th straight Halloween
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Secretary Hillary Clinton has decided she will dress up as president of the United States for the fourth straight...
Trump eulogizes KKK Cyclops just like Biden to get media to stop calling him racist
WASHINGTON DC—President Donald Trump has given a eulogy for the KKK Cyclops and recruiter Senator Robert C. Byrd just like...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t denounced white supremacy in last 6.2 seconds
(FOX NEWS) President Donald Trump has not denounced white supremacy in the last 6.2 seconds, which clearly means that he...
Chris Wallace replaced by mother of toddlers in next presidential debate
CLEVELAND—After an utter failure of moderator Chris Wallace to control the first presidential debate, organizers have replaced him with someone...
Sweet Meteor O’Death surges in the polls after dismal presidential debate
CLEVELAND—The inanimate celestial body Sweet Meteor O'Death, which will be passing by Earth shortly before the US presidential election surged...
Biden falls asleep while Trump argues with moderator during first debate
CLEVELAND—President Trump came out swinging in the first presidential debate of 2020 but focused most of his attention on the...
BREAKING: Biden pulls out of debates unless they provide several nap breaks
CLEVELAND—US Presidential Candidate Joe Biden says he won't debate President Trump unless there are ample nap breaks during the grandest...
Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...
BREAKING: Trump SCOTUS pick Barrett tried pineapple on her pizza in college
(CNN)—Leading congressional Democrats are calling for the withdrawal of President Trump's Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett after evidence has...
