Mayor Goodway caves to rioters, arrests Chase for being un-pawsome
ADVENTURE BAY—Mayor Goodway has caved to the demands of rioters threatening the entire city and had Chase the police pup...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Mayor Lightfoot allows churches up to 25% capacity if they ‘burn the church to the ground first’
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot said Chicago churches can hold services with no more than 50 people, so long as they, "burn...
BREAKING: Borders are okay now
In a similar way that public gatherings that were previously banned and criticized due to the risk posed in spreading...
Seattle communist zone celebrates its first mass starvation and gulag
Communists have taken over the Capitol Hill district of Seattle and declared it an "autonomous zone". Decentralized organizers were pleased...
CNN adds Greta Thunberg to expert panel on ‘What it’s Like Being Black in America’
An upcoming CNN town hall entitled "What it's Like Being Black in America" will feature 17-year-old Swedish activist Greta Thunberg...
VIDEO: Bill Gates opens up about plan to depopulate and control the world
In this candid interview, Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for Sinister Bioengineering opens...
Marvel releases new superhero blockbuster ‘Black Pander’ starring Pelosi, Schumer, and Nadler
WASHINGTON—The Marvel superhero universe just got a lot bigger and more ridiculous with the release of this summer's guaranteed blockbuster,...
Chicago honors the memory of George Floyd by hosting 25 murders over the weekend
While people all over the country and even the world are protesting police brutality and honoring the memory of George...
Trump modifies Washington Monument in response to protesters
WASHINGTON—President Trump has been looking for new ways to communicate to people since his favored platform Twitter has started censoring...
Bill Gates installs several sharknados in tropical storm Cristobal; says he’s working on the cure
Bill Gates has installed several sharknados in the tropical storm Cristobal making landfall later today. He says that he's working...
