Biden blames fall on wind from Putin blowing him a kiss from Russia
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden blamed his fall while climbing Air Force One's stairs on Russian President Vladimir Putin blowing him...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
White House staff confused about who’s still peeing on the floors after Biden’s dogs were removed
WASHINGTON, DC—White House cleaning staff are flummoxed about who is still peeing all over the floors of the Oval Office...
Biden makes Dr. Rachel Levine all-time Miss America
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has named transgender HHS Assistant Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine the all-time Miss America winner, making it...
Cuomo promises to harass at least 50% transwomen from now on
ALBANY, NY--New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has agreed to a compromise with the #metoo movement to save his job. He...
Get a lobotomy and other ways you can celebrate the 1st anniversary of ’15 Days to Flatten the Curve’
US—It's been one whole year since our health experts told us we would only need to lockdown society and ruin...
Grammys slammed for including inappropriate Pepé Le Pew in otherwise family-friendly Cardi B pornography
HOLLYWOOD—People across the country were livid that the Grammys production staff included the offensive and inappropriate cartoon skunk Pepé Le...
BREAKING: Democrats agree to let you have some of your money in $1.9 trillion relief package
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats in control of both houses of Congress and the White House recently passed the $1.9 trillion relief package,...
Biden promises to briefly release citizens from lockdown on 4th of July for good behavior
WASHINGTON, DC—For the one-year anniversary of "15 Days to Flatten the Curve", President Biden promises to release the citizens of...
BREAKING: White House schedules Biden’s first State of the Union speech for shortly after he dies
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has scheduled President Biden's first State of the Union speech to be delivered to a joint...
Moms relieved Pepé Le Pew is canceled so their kids can get back to watching ‘Wet Ass Pussy’ in peace
US—Moms around the country are relieved that the Loony Toons character Pepé Le Pew has been cancelled so their kids...
