Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to honor Native Americans on Unthanksgiving
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you’re a racist colonizer, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities will...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg met with President-elect Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago to discuss the release of his father from Area...
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs
Washington, D.C. – In a move that left both sides of the aisle scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump...
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus
Washington, D.C. – In a surprising twist to his final days as Transportation Secretary, Pete Buttigieg announced a groundbreaking—some would...
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony
Washington, D.C. – The annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon at the White House took an unexpected turn today when President Joe...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions
As a woman who has been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump appoints to any cabinet position, I feel it is...
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies
NEW YORK—In a move that sent shockwaves through both tech and media industries, Elon Musk has announced his acquisition of...
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas
On this day in 1963, the nation collectively held its breath as President John F. Kennedy embarked on what would...
