San Francisco to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing scores of people to climate god
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Hannibal Lecter named new spokesperson for the Climate Strike
After thoughtful consideration, the climate change movement, dedicated to preventing a global catastrophe at any cost, has named Hannibal Lecter...
Hillary enters 2020 race after entire Democratic field have surprise heart attacks
Hillary Clinton has officially entered the 2020 presidential race after the entire Democratic field were sidelined with heart attacks. "I...
Ocasio-Cortez infuriated that fan’s ‘eat the babies’ shirt was made from fossil fuels
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez held a town hall in Corona, New York, at the Queens Public Library on Thursday, which concluded with...
Trump calls for investigation into the Schiff investigation of the Trump investigation about the Biden investigation
President Trump announced Thursday that he was calling for an investigation into the investigation called for by Rep. Adam Schiff...
Russia to launch investigation to determine if any Democrats have ties to United States
Officials at the top of Russian government have launched an investigation to determine if anyone in the Democratic Party has...
Parents help their children fight climate change by taking iPhones, cars away from them
Greta Thunberg has launched a revolution of children and young adults skipping science class to scream about climate change because,...
BREAKING: Obama, Clintons revealed to be white supremacists
As everyone is aware, the "okay" hand gesture is a longtime white supremacist symbol, and everyone using it is basically...
BREAKING: Local man nominated for Nobel Prize after constantly complaining about the heat
Local resident Sam Bilkie has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after consistent complaining about the heat this summer....
Greta Thunberg sails away on hot air balloon powered by her own fiery breath
Opposed to the horrific gas guzzlers that are transatlantic jet liners, Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg arrived in the US...
