Dept of Education ends up with more employees after trying to fire 50% of workforce using Common Core math
WASHINGTON, DC—The Department of Education announced Monday that it has somehow ended up with more employees after attempting to fire...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
All 6 WNBA fans devastated as Angel Reese threatens to sit out if she’s not paid more
In a shocking turn of events that sent ripples through the half a dozen dedicated WNBA fans, star player Angel...
Local men dominate International Women’s Day
The 2023 International Women's Day was a great success, focusing mainly on local men who think they're women. "Really, the...
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict
US—The Democratic Party has rolled out its latest messaging masterpiece: the “Peace Is War” campaign, a daring rebrand of their...
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) expressed outrage today over a disturbing trend in Germany, where terrorists have been using gas-guzzling, fossil-fuel-powered...
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians
Germany is reeling from yet another wave of rogue automobiles careening into pedestrians, leaving a trail of chaos, crumpled fenders,...
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’
WASHINGTON, DC—Attorney General Pam Bondi, fresh off a Florida tan and a cabinet promotion, has reassured an impatient American public...
BREAKING: Trump puts Zelensky in ‘time-out corner’ during explosive Oval Office meeting
Washington, D.C. – In a bizarre turn of events during a high-stakes diplomatic meeting, President Donald Trump reportedly sent Ukrainian...
