BREAKING: California fires leave several Hollywood elites stranded, unable to run their Satanic pedophile rings
LOS ANGELES—In a shocking turn of events, wildfires around Los Angeles have not only scorched over 4,000 acres of prime...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom announces he’s sending 500 billion gallons of water to Ukraine
Sacramento, CA - In an announcement that has left many Californians bewildered, Governor Gavin Newsom declared that the state will...
BREAKING: After seeing Palisades Fire destruction in California, Biden sends another $100 billion to Ukraine
Washington, D.C. - After seeing the utter devastation caused by the Palisades Fire in California, President* Biden has agreed to...
Nation shocked to learn a fire department that prioritizes diversity and inclusion over fighting fires can’t fight fires
Los Angeles, CA - In a revelation that has left many residents and observers flabbergasted, the Los Angeles Fire Department...
‘We’ve run out of water to fight the Palisades Fire’ says governor of state next to the Pacific Ocean
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom and LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley held a press conference with the backdrop of the...
BREAKING: Brave LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley is using only gay water to fight Palisades Fire
LOS ANGELES—In nod to her main focus of diversity, inclusion, and equity (DEI), Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crowley announced...
CNN: Fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires destroy California
(CNN) Hundreds of fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires burned across the state of California in recent days and nearly 250,000...
Trump officially renames the Mexican-American War the ‘American-American War’
MAR-A-LAGO—Following a call to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, President Donald Trump...
Fact-checkers deny claims that Mark Zuckerberg is putting an end to fact-checkers
MENLO PARK, CA — In a twist that could only be described as a plotline from a dystopian tech thriller,...
BREAKING: Trump to buy Greenland to rename it Iceland and buy Iceland to rename it Greenland
NUUK, GREENLAND—An idea whose time has come, former President Donald Trump announced his latest and greatest real estate venture: purchasing...
