Feds working to restore power to Ida victims so they can get back to spying on them
NEW ORLEANS--Federal agents are working feverishly to restore power the victims of Hurricane Ida in Louisiana, New Jersey, and New...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden mandates a forehead tattoo of ‘build back better’ as national vaccine passport
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today that he will be mandating a national vaccine passport in order for people to...
BREAKING: 1500 Americans left in Afghanistan have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Up to 1,500 Americans that are left in Afghanistan after US President* Biden pulled forces out have information that...
Homeland Security adds new potential terror threats
WASHINGTON, DC—The US Department of Homeland Security has issued new potential terror threats in the wake of the Afghanistan debacle....
BREAKING: Derek Chauvin released after changing defense to ‘I saved countless lives by killing George Floyd’
MINNEAPOLIS—Former Minneapolis Police Department Officer Derek Chauvin, who was convicted of the murder of George Floyd in 2020, was released...
Healthy, vaccinated woman who died of COVID blamed unvaccinated for her illness
US—A local healthy and fully-vaccinated 40-year-old woman, Kristie Kreme, recently contracted and died from COVID-19. Her family says that she...
AOC sees nothing wrong with using horse paste to treat COVID
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has stepped out into the firing lines and defended the use of ivermectin horse paste...
BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
Portland ups the ante: 2 free hits of crack with vaccine card
PORTLAND, OR—The City of Portland is upping the crack rock ante in its COVID-19 vaccine push, doubling the number of...
Biden sending 5000 troops to get all Americans trapped inside Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden told Americans stuck in Chicago that the government will bring them back to the U.S. even as it is not sure how...
