BREAKING: Biden threatens to bomb Ukraine if Russia doesn’t invade it soon
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre announcement, US President* Joe Biden threatened the Ukraine that he was going to "bomb the sh*t...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
AOC: ‘No question white supremacy caused this devastating winter storm’
NEW YORK CITY—Winter Storm Kenan pummeled New York on Friday and Saturday, dumping over a foot of snow in some parts...
Apple releases blatantly racist ‘man stealing watermelon’ emoji
CUPERTINO, CA—Tech giant Apple just released a blatantly racist "man stealing watermelon" emoji, according to sources. "I don't know who...
Chicago Mayor Lightfoot offers cash reward to take down Batman
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has stepped it up a notch by offering a cash reward for anyone who can capture and...
Trudeau goes into hiding as trucker convoy descends on Ottawa
OTTAWA, CA—Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has gone into hiding as upwards of 50,000 trucks and over 500,000 people descend...
Biden vows to make SCOTUS more diverse by picking first human turd to replace Justice Breyer
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the announcement that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is stepping down, President* Joe Biden promised to make the...
Biden declares ‘All borders should be protected except for ours’
WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference on the Ukraine crisis, President* Biden declared that "All borders should be protected except for...
Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
