Walmart now offering free COVID anal swabs before shopping
BENTONVILLE, AR—In the interest of making the shopping experience for everyone as safe as can be, Walmart Supercenters will now...
Business
Biden gets revenge on Trump by raising cost of insulin for millions of Americans
WASHINGTON, DC—President-No longer elect Biden and his administration is finally getting back at the evil dictator Trump by raising the...
BREAKING: CIA begins funneling weapons to libertarians after Biden labels them terrorists
PENTAGON—The Central Intelligence Agency has immediately started funneling money and weapons to various libertarian groups throughout the US after President...
Biden to mandate 12-month paid vacation for all American workers
WASHINGTON, DC—In preparation of Biden taking office this week, the transition team has released a partial list of legislative items...
BREAKING: Biden proposes raising minimum wage to $1,000,000 an hour
WASHINGTON, DC—President-Elect Joe Biden announced today that on day one of his presidency, he’ll pass an executive order raising the...
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
To promote gender equity, US Post Office now offering two delivery options: mail and femail
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Postal Service announced that starting today, it’ll be offering two delivery options: mail and femail. “The Post...
BREAKING: Twitter CEO caught shooting messenger pigeons sent by the Trump Team
NEW YORK--Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was caught shooting messenger pigeons being send by the Trump Team at Trump Tower. The...
Biden taps Zuckerberg and Dorsey to head new Ministry of Truth Department
U.S.—After Facebook C.E.O. Mark Zuckerberg and Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey removed President Trump from their social media platforms, President Elect...
