New Yorkers forced to shoplift bread hidden in shoe boxes to feed their kids
In a recent Zoom townhall, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said the recent uptick in crime in New York City including...
Business
Bill Gates infuriated that they keep coming up with cheap cures to his coronavirus bioweapon
REDMOND, WA—Billionaire and Bond Supervillain Bill Gates is incresingly infuriated that doctors and health practitioners keep coming up with simple...
Struggling Robert De Niro starts GoFundMe page as net worth plummets to $500,000,000
According to recent reports, Robert De Niro has complained that COVID-19 has seriously interfered with his career and has devastated...
Local man frustrated that overpriced Wayfair furniture keeps shipping with young women inside
A wealthy local man has had to keep returning overpriced furniture bought on the home decor online store Wayfair after...
Biden rallies continue to wreck havoc across the country
Rallies for presumptive presidential nominee Joe Biden have continued across the country in Democratic stronghold cities, causing billions of dollars...
Disney launches new Colin Kaepernick ride consisting of 60 minutes of sitting on the bench
ANAHEIM—Disney has added a new Colin Kaepernick ride to go along with his Disney+ video series. The thrilling ride will...
Merriam-Webster removes words with ‘black’ in them from dictionary for their ties to slavery
As of this morning there have been over a dozen new 'movements'. GT has reported on several including many that...
BREAKING: Clinton Foundation now offering ‘suicide insurance’ to Ghislaine Maxwell
NEW YORK—The Clinton Foundation expanded its reach today to include not another form of charity but a business aspect: Suicide...
Local homeless man hasn’t picked up his white privilege check in months
AUSTIN, TX—Local homeless man Bobby Duphrane has not picked up his white privilege check in months. As a result, he...
Disney changes Splash Mountain to ‘Riot Hill’ where guests can experience exciting BLM riot
ORLANDO—Amid calls to change the Splash Mountain theme park ride because of its ties with the racist 1946 “Song of...
