Illinois Governor Pritzker named U-Haul’s #1 salesman for 2019
Illinois's Governor JB Pritzker is racking up the awards. For the first time this year, Pritzker has been named U-Haul's...
Business
Get 100 ‘Epstein’ Lights that don’t hang themselves for $19.99
While supplies last! These wonderful Epstein brand mini lights that don't hang themselves come with a lifetime guarantee—just like Jeffrey...
Schiff to proceed with second impeachment over ‘improper destruction of mattress tags’
As impeachment attempt bombs, Rep. Adam Schiff is proceeding with a second impeachment of President Trump over collusion with Russia...
Democrats fly dozens to Spain to learn about how to pollute less
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced Saturday that she will fly a squadron of Democratic lawmakers to the United Nations conference on how...
Grown-ass Antifa member forced to return to little kids table for Thanksgiving
A local grown-ass Antifa member was forced to return to the 'little kid table' for Thanksgiving this year due to...
Local Bernie fan complains about having 23 options for Thanksgiving dessert
A local Bernie Sanders fan is planning on yelling about the evils and inadequacies of capitalism—especially having so many dessert...
Local man who’s never given a dollar to charity mad Jeff Bezos only donated $98.5 million to homeless
A local man who has never donated to any charity is infuriated that Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos didn't...
Chik-Fil-A now offering all you can eat buffet for 30 pieces of silver
In the wake of ditching his religious convictions, the CEO of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, has announced the restaurant will simultaneously...
Chik-fil-A gives into pressure groups; will stop serving delicious chicken and slaughter its mascot cows
In a shocking turn of events Chik-fil-A has given into pressure-groups and will stop serving delicious chicken with a smile....
AOC says she was ‘just kidding about that Green New Deal stuff’ as she cranks the heat up to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one's carbon footprint. But...
