Man sues Burger King after ‘Impossible Whopper’ turns him into a woman
A local man is suing Burger King after one Impossible Whopper, the company's manufactured vegan meat burger, turned him into...
Business
Dems ban red plastic Solo cups because they ‘look too much like MAGA hats’
Jerry Nadler and Chuck Schumer have introduced legislation to ban the large plastic red cups used in beer pong due...
BREAKING: Amex sends fraud alert to taxpayers ‘Did you just try to charge $1.4 trillion at CONGRESS?’
American Express has sent a fraud alert to every American taxpayer asking, "did you just try to spend $1.4 trillion...
Disney to replace entire ‘Rise of Skywalker’ with 3 hours of Baby Yoda clips
After disappointing Last Jedi gross sales accompanied with a low average rating, Disney is hedging its bets for the last...
Illinois Governor Pritzker named U-Haul’s #1 salesman for 2019
Illinois's Governor JB Pritzker is racking up the awards. For the first time this year, Pritzker has been named U-Haul's...
Get 100 ‘Epstein’ Lights that don’t hang themselves for $19.99
While supplies last! These wonderful Epstein brand mini lights that don't hang themselves come with a lifetime guarantee—just like Jeffrey...
Schiff to proceed with second impeachment over ‘improper destruction of mattress tags’
As impeachment attempt bombs, Rep. Adam Schiff is proceeding with a second impeachment of President Trump over collusion with Russia...
Democrats fly dozens to Spain to learn about how to pollute less
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced Saturday that she will fly a squadron of Democratic lawmakers to the United Nations conference on how...
Grown-ass Antifa member forced to return to little kids table for Thanksgiving
A local grown-ass Antifa member was forced to return to the 'little kid table' for Thanksgiving this year due to...
Local Bernie fan complains about having 23 options for Thanksgiving dessert
A local Bernie Sanders fan is planning on yelling about the evils and inadequacies of capitalism—especially having so many dessert...
