BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
Entertainment
Biden changes name to Emperor Palbiden, establishes Galactic Empire
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare press conference, President* Biden said that he has officially changed his name to Emperor Palbiden and...
RIP Stephen Colbert
What a sad day for comedy. Not only did we lose legend Bob Saget but also a good friend of...
NY 911 switchboards swamped with Betty White sightings
NEW YORK—Authorities are recommending to keep a safe distance if you see someone you think is Betty White. Spokesperson for...
Saudis open new Hajj park in Switzerland around the Matterhorn
MATTERHORN, SWITZERLAND—How much more enjoyable will the Hadj be with hot cocoa? This once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage, a mandatory religious duty for...
BREAKING: Joe Biden has killed Betty White
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden promised a winter of sickness and death and he's starting to put his money where his mouth...
Top Genesius Times Stories from 2021
Despite the censorship by Fascbook and Twatter, a gajillion people delighted in Genesius Times articles in 2021! Here are the...
Biden diverts US border wall funding to Oprah’s ‘Promised Land’ estate
MONTECITO, CA—Oprah Winfrey is feeling a lot safer now that border wall is going up around her ‘Promised Land’ estate....
‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer
HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...
Nike stands with Jussie Smollett in new ad campaign
BEAVERTON, OR—Nike is throwing its support behind the embattled actress Jussie Smollett in a new ad campaign with the tag...
