BREAKING: US nurses preparing for deadly bird flu epidemic by practicing nonstop on their TikTok dances
US—Health care professionals across the globe have been working overtime to prepare for the impending bird flu epidemic – not...
Culture
BREAKING: Pope Francis excommunicates Harrison Butker for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN—Pope Francis has announced that he is personally excommunicating Kansas City Chiefs' kicker Harrison Butker from the Catholic Church for...
STUNNING: Chet and Jabba the Hutt cover SI 2022 swimsuit issue
US—Chet and Jabba the Hutt have reached new career peaks: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover star. "It's hard to even...
Pro-Hamas college feminists excited to become second class under Sharia law
In a shocking display of ideological confusion, a group of pro-Hamas college students, who also identify as "feminists," have expressed...
Chet the human turd demands to be added to the LGBTQ+ Pride flag
HOLLYWOOD—In what can only be described as a groundbreaking and revolutionary moment in human history, Chet, the human turd who...
BREAKING: The ‘Free Palpatine’ movement spreads across the US
In a bizarre and slightly humorous twist, a peculiar movement known as the "Free Palpatine" campaign has been gaining ground...
2024 Burning Man Festival moves to outside NYC courthouse during Trump hush money trial
NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year's festival will take place on the steps of the...
Vogue unveils shocking cover featuring Zelensky embracing new wife Mike Johnson
In a surprising turn of events, Vogue has just released its newest cover featuring the unexpected pairing of Ukrainian President...
Gavin Newsom threatens to blot out the sun again if we don’t sacrifice a million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg this year
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued an ultimatum to the world: sacrifice 1 million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg...
RIP Karine “Wanda” Jean-Pierre
In loving memory of Karine Jean-Pierre, also known as "Wanda', the dynamic and unforgettable actress who stole our hearts on...
