BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
Culture
Mike ‘Judas’ Pence wishes everyone a ‘happy Spy Wednesday!’
WASHINGTON D.C. - In an unexpected turn of events, former Vice President Mike Pence has sparked controversy by wishing everyone...
‘Fetuses are parasites’ says vice president who lives completely on extorted taxpayer money
WASHINGTON, DC—In a recent interview, Vice President Kamala Harris has found herself embroiled in controversy after referring to fetuses as...
Kate Middleton tweets out selfie of her and her kids on the moon; crazy conspiracy theorists doubt its legitimacy
LONDON—In a stunning revelation that has left the internet reeling, the Duchess of Cambridge has taken to Twitter to share...
ACTUALLY: Cannibalism is the most eco-friendly diet and will save the planet
As a triple doctorate in Gender-Queer Wildebeest Grooming, Post-Colonial AI Prompt Engineering, and Post-Feminist Interpretive Dance Theory, I'm clearly the...
Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef demand Israel stop bombing innocent babies in Gaza so the Gazans can go kill innocent babies in abortion
HOLLYWOOD—In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads, Hollywood actors Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef have come...
France celebrates killing babies to save them the embarrassment of surrendering later on
PARIS—In a groundbreaking move that has left the international community reeling, the French government has announced its decision to embrace...
Local men dominate International Women’s Day
The 2023 International Women's Day was a great success, focusing mainly on local men who think they're women. "Really, the...
Help Us Celebrate Women’s History Month with our ‘Best-Made Sandwich Contest’
This March, we at Genesius Times want to honor women's history like never before. We're going all out to celebrate...
Google admits its Gemini AI just takes its historical figures from Netflix films
In a stunning admission, Google has revealed that its highly touted Gemini AI, which generates lifelike images of historical figures,...
