BREAKING: Mormon God to impeach Mitt Romney
We all now know Senator Mitt Romney will vote to impeach President Trump claiming "It's between him and his God."...
Culture
Democrats honor Margaret Sanger by wearing ‘white-supremacy white’ to State of the Union
Democratic women House members — from Speaker Nancy Pelosi down to freshman Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar— showed up...
BREAKING: Jennifer Lopez wins Iowa Caucus
The chaos in the Iowa Caucus has resulted in a complete change of the Democratic party elections. While Donald Trump...
To raise awareness during Super Bowl, Shakira used the same rope that Epstein used when he didn’t kill himself
During the most meaningful and poignant Super Bowl halftime show ever, singer and performer Shakira raised awareness during her rope...
BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry's newest and most disgusting...
Super Bowl halftime show protests sex trafficking in bold pole dance
Sex trafficking is a growing concern with hundreds of thousands reportedly being held against their will around the globe. Recent...
Shakira to sacrifice two goats in annual Illuminati halftime show
MIAMI—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl half time show, will feature an unprecedented number of...
Entire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that...
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
Adam Schiff nominated for Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in a Fictional Impeachment
Genesius Times Entertaintent reporters have just learned that Adam Schiff, despite considerable competition in this category, has been nominated for...
