China reassures world that new virus will be ready in time for the Olympics
BEIJING—The Chinese Olympic committee said today that people shouldn’t worry, they will absolutely have a new virus ready by the...
Culture
OPED: Truckers ? aren’t ? workers ? so ? they ? don’t ? have ? rights
I don't know who needs to hear this but truckers—especially the ones protesting the vaccine mandates in Canada—aren't real workers,...
US Bobsled team renames their sled ‘Biden’ because nothing has taken America downhill faster
BEIJING—In preparation for the 2022 Winter Olympics, the US bobsled team has named their #1 sled "Biden" because nothing has...
UPENN combines men’s / women’s swim teams; winning now based on talent and looks
PHILADELPHIA—UPENN Board of Trustees will announce tomorrow that the best solution for the swim team’s trans conundrum is to keep...
Meghan & Harry: ‘We spent our last $3700 on publicity’
BROKE magazine interviewed The Duke and Duchess of Montecito on their last day in their once lovely, now empty home....
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
New White House cat bears strong resemblance to missing cat from Pennsylvania
Willow Glen farmer Andy “Buck’ Clydebrook shook his head when told that his cat, Willow, missing for a while, looked...
Chicago Mayor Lightfoot offers cash reward to take down Batman
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has stepped it up a notch by offering a cash reward for anyone who can capture and...
Joe Rogan replaces Neil Young in Crosby, Stills & Nash supergroup
Legendary folk rock supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash announced comedian Joe Rogan joined the band and will begin touring unvaccinated-mandated...
Fauci: new federal ‘Jumbo’, XXX size anal swabs approved for TSA airport use
WASHINGTON, DC—Airline travel will be much safer with the use of the new Omicron, XXX anal swabs being utilized by...
