Eminem sacrifices two goats to Moloch in annual Illuminati halftime show
LOS ANGELES—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show, featured an unprecedented number of...
Culture
Newsom mandates a 10k-seat ‘Looters Section’ at Superbowl LVI
LOS ANGELES—Spectators paying upwards of $10,000 (yes, you read that right) to watch the LA Rams and Cincinnati Bengals slug...
In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Yoko Ono threatens to add her music to Spotify if they don’t remove Joe Rogan
NEW YORK—With many artists threatening to remove their (or other's) music from the streaming platform Spotify if they don't remove...
Oprah explains to Whoopi how real power is when white people can’t fire you
NEW YORK—Whoopi Goldberg, after being suspended from her job at ABC’s ‘The View’ met with Oprah to vent about the...
Zucker lands role in live-action Mx. Potato Head film after being fired from CNN
ATLANTA—Jeff Zucker has already landed on his feet. The embattled ex-President of CNN has won a starring role in the...
BREAKING: Milli Vanilli announce they are pulling someone else’s music from Spotify
HOLLYWOOD—Following the Joe Rogan controversy, the popular band Milli Vanilli have announced that they are pulling someone else's music from...
POLL: Who should Biden nominate to replace Jeff Zucker as CNN CEO?
The state-run Communist News Network is losing its CEO Jeff Zucker following sex abuse allegations typical for the company. So,...
China reassures world that new virus will be ready in time for the Olympics
BEIJING—The Chinese Olympic committee said today that people shouldn’t worry, they will absolutely have a new virus ready by the...
OPED: Truckers ? aren’t ? workers ? so ? they ? don’t ? have ? rights
I don't know who needs to hear this but truckers—especially the ones protesting the vaccine mandates in Canada—aren't real workers,...
