Lightfoot urges all Chicagoans to get vaccinated to keep everyone safe while shooting each other this weekend
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, urging Chicagoans to get the COVID vaccine to keep everyone safe while they...
Culture
Cleveland Indians win the next World Series after changing their name to Dominion Voting Machines
The long lasting name for the movie-star Cleveland Indians baseball team has come to an end. Many other infamous teams...
BREAKING: Biden designates the American flag a white supremacist hate symbol
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has designated the current American flag and all its predecessors as a hate symbol after seeing...
Latin Mass Catholics change their name to ‘Latinx’ to get support from Pope Francis
THE VATICAN—Following a clamp down by Pope Francis on the Latin Mass in the church, traditional Catholics are fighting back....
AOC: ‘The upside of socialism: not having to grow old’
Getting old sucks. Achy bones, health issues, cable news, not producing for the state. That isn’t a life I want....
Joe Biden appoints Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey as Secretary of Education
WASHINGTON DC—Following Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey’s grooming session at a public library, former Vice President Joe Biden appointed him head...
Confused hitman kills journalist investigating George Clinton
NEW YORK CITY—Rolling Stone journalist Vincent Brown was found dead in his apartment shortly after completing a review of Parliament...
Fauci: Conor McGregor ankle injury caused by COVID; vaccine would have saved him
The greatest medical person in history and now MMA fighting expert Doctor Anthony Fauci has made yet another ruling. The...
Prosecutors charge white lightning with hate crime after it destroyed George Floyd mural
TOLEDO, OH—Prosecutors have charged the natural phenomenon of lightning with a hate crime after it struck and destroyed a George...
BREAKING: TX House votes 76-4 to send cowboy to ‘lasso and hog tie’ fleeing Democrats
AUSTIN—The Texas House voted 76-4 Tuesday to send a rodeo cowboy to track down Democrats who left the state a...
