Culture

BREAKING: Devil sues Catholic Church for defamation claiming ‘Enough is enough’

Gumpers January 13, 2022 0

VATICAN—Lawyers for the Devil have filed a 500 billion € lawsuit against the Catholic Church for defamation of character, restriction...

Fauci now recommends face masks over your eyes so you can’t read his leaked emails

Exavier Saskagoochie January 12, 2022 0

WASHINGTON, DC—A treasure trove of emails from National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) Director Dr. Anthony Fauci’s were...

French PM Macron face masks can stop guillotines

Exavier Saskagoochie January 11, 2022 0

PARIS—Anti-tyranny protesters rallied in cities across France on Saturday, denouncing President Emmanuel Macron and threatening to "get Enlightenmented on his...

NY 911 switchboards swamped with Betty White sightings

Gumpers January 7, 2022 0

NEW YORK—Authorities are recommending to keep a safe distance if you see someone you think is Betty White. Spokesperson for...

AOC: ‘Insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me’

Deep Thoughts by AOC January 6, 2022 0

Did you know that all those frustrated insurrectionists are just mad they can't date me? It's true. That's why I've...

Pope Francis now requiring ‘booster baptisms’ for Catholics to be considered fully baptized

Exavier Saskagoochie January 5, 2022 1

VATICAN—Pope Francis has proclaimed that all Catholics worldwide will now need a booster baptism to be considered fully baptized. "We...

Saudis open new Hajj park in Switzerland around the Matterhorn

Gumpers January 3, 2022 0

MATTERHORN, SWITZERLAND—How much more enjoyable will the Hadj be with hot cocoa? This once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage, a mandatory religious duty for...