Joe Biden appoints Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey as Secretary of Education

WASHINGTON DC—Following Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey’s grooming session at a public library, former Vice President Joe Biden appointed him head of the Department of Education.

The announcement was made in front of a dozen crying children and their cheering pink haired single mothers.

“We don’t have any Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkeys in our administration, which makes him perfect for the job,” the former Vice President said.

Mr. Biden and RDBM discussed their federal education agenda, which involves removing writing and mathematics from school curriculum and replacing them with critical race theory and sexualizing pre-pubescent children.

“Instead of wasting time on racist addition and spelling, we can focus on what’s important,” Joe Biden told reporters between sniffs of various children. “Teaching kids to hate each other and America to advance socialism.”

“And molesting children,” RDBM intervened.

“Trunalimunumaprzure!” Biden added with emphasis.