BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Culture
Local cop calls LeBron James to tell him what he should’ve done better in playoff loss
SAN BERNADINO, CA—A local police officer Bernie Jambles spoke to NBA star LeBron James earlier to tell him exactly what...
BREAKING: Guatamala deports Kamala Harris
GUATAMALA CITY—Immigration authorities in Guatamala have deported an annoying American named Kamala Harris. She will be extradited to Mexico, where...
Kamala Harris flies 10-truck caravan to Guatamala to lecture them on climate change
GUATAMALA CITY—Vice President* Kamala Harris flew a 10-Suburban caravan to Guatamala in order to lecture them on climate change. "It...
Philanthropist Matt Walsh raises money for AOC’s neglected pet gerbil
Political commentator and world-renowned philanthropist Matt Walsh is taking matters into his own hands after Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) blamed...
Lightfoot launches ‘shots for shots’ program to increase vaccination among gang bangers
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has launched a new program called "shots for shots" to increase COVID-19 vaccination rates among Chicago's gang...
Iran scuttles navy ship Kharg after learning it was gay
The Muslim dictatorship formally known as Persia is still supporting proxy wars around the world, and persecuting Christians, for which...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Biden launches the US Gay Force to enforce pronouns
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to former President Trump's Space Force and just in time for Pride Month, President* Biden has launched...
Genesius Times issues apology to China
Much has been said about the apology that John Cena made after he accidentally said that Taiwan was a country....
