Anti-mask student released from jail after promising to become a school shooter instead
LARAMIE, WY—An anti-mask Laramie high school student, Grace Smith, was arrested for trespassing after daring to come to school without...
Culture
Petito family Photoshops MAGA hat on Brian Laundrie so the FBI will look for him
The family of Gabby Petitio have provided a new photo of the missing Brian Laundrie to the FBI. The photo...
Local woman fired for refusing to put something in her body against her will
A local woman, Lauren Preston, says she was fired by her employer for refusing to put something into her body...
Biden taps Weinstein to lead ‘Jobs for Jabs’ program citing his experience putting things into people’s bodies for them to get work
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden has appointed famous Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein to lead his new "Jab for a Job"...
AOC: ‘We must ban butter to save these poor butterflies!’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new push toward a more just and equitable climate, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made a...
Breaking WELY News Update
The US government is collapsing and we’re pretending it’s not! All in the latest news update! Stay current on the...
Biden narrowly misses price of the $3.5 trillion budget on Price is Right by $3.5 trillion
BURBANK, California—Joe Biden narrowly missed the correct price on a $3.5 trillion budget on the Price is Right today, guessing...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
NFL has made over 1 million fans gay this year
NEW YORK—Ever since the NFL came out of the closet as being gay this summer, they have made a point...
Local leftist replaces his ‘Resist!’ bumper sticker with a ‘Govern Me Harder Daddy!’ sticker
OSHKOSH, WI–A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Resist!’ bumper sticker from the dark ages of the Trump...
