BREAKING: Hamas hires Ilhan Omar as new spokesman
GAZA—Hamas announced today that it’s hiring Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Palestine) as its new spokesman. She’ll be taking office sometime next...
Culture
Google removes Kyle Rittenhouse doodle after receiving complaints
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Search engine behemoth Google commemorated the Kenosha, WI unrest shooter Kyle Rittenhouse today with a fun doodle illustration...
BREAKING: Mostly peaceful Hamas fires mostly peaceful rockets into Israel
(CNN) ISRAEL—The mostly peaceful terrorist organization Hamas has fired a number of mostly peaceful rockets toward Jerusalem today, setting off...
LeBron James literally oppresses me by making millions playing a game a white man invented
Can we talk about the fact that LeBron James is literally killing me by making millions of dollars playing a...
Texas publishes helpful map for Californians looking to move to the state
AUSTIN—The Texas Board of Californian Resettlement (TBCR) has published a helpful map for all the Californians seeking asylum in their...
To ensure equality, NBA will now end all games in 93-93 tie
LOS ANGELES—The National Basketball Association is putting its money where its social justice mouth is. To ensure equality in the...
Rabbis confirm wearing three masks will guarantee you a seat in the Garden of Eden
WORLD—Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that wearing three masks will guarantee you a seat...
Pollster Frank Luntz, GOP House Leader Kevin McCarthy to marry at White House
The leadership of the Grand Ole Party continues to ignore the election success of conservatives like Donald Trump and Florida...
3 Stacey Abrams romance novels including ‘Moby Dick: A Love Story’ to be reissued
ATLANTA—Before she ran for governor of Georgia, before she registered 800,000 dead voters with her organization Fair Fight, before she...
VIDEO: Police officer consults LeBron before interfering in a knife attack
WOKETARDIA—This is how it should be done people! Every police officer in the country needs to consult with LeBron James...
