Protesters furious at Trump for profaning a church they’re trying to destroy
Protesters are furious after President Donald Trump desecrated the newly burned St. John's Episcopal church in Washington DC by holding...
Culture
Local courts flooded with Karens demanding name change
After recent events giving Karens a bad name, Karens across the fruited plains of America have inundated municipal civil courts...
STUDY: 66% of rioters are zombies previously killed by COVID-19
This coronavirus does things to people nobody could have possibly predicted. We already know it makes you smell funny and...
REPORT: Genesius Times overtakes CNN as world leader of Fake News that’s not on fire
Well well well. Do we have here a case of the dog catching the car, or more specifically the fans...
‘Minnesota Nice’ not just a slogan but a way of life
There's just something about Minnesota. Maybe it's because it smells like cheese all the time where nobody can figure out...
Nation reminisces a happier time when the only worries were deadly pandemics and murder hornets
MINNEAPOLIS — Millions across America reminisced about the happy and peaceful time just a week ago when the only worries...
GT’s Journalist Guide to Minneapolis Riots
Instead of that, say this!
Local man pretty sure he ended racism by tweeting ‘white people are the worst’
NEW YORK, NY—Several millennia of racism, slavery, and warfare came to an abrupt end Thursday when local progressive Dickey Le...
Fatalities mount as people run into plexiglass that wasn’t there yesterday
First there was 'sexiglass' the barrier that was placed between consenting adults. Maynard G. Crabs explained to GT, "The hole...
Newsom reassures public that the church of the state is still open during lockdown
On Friday, President Trump deemed houses of worship “essential" while California and other states keep in-person services closed due to...
