Kamala Harris kicks off Democratic Convention by sacrificing two babies to Moloch
CHICAGO—Democrats kicked off their 2024 convention with Vice Presidential pick Kamala Harris sacrificing two babies to Moloch, the patron god...
Religion
Pope finally condemns Olympic Opening Ceremony for not including an abortion too
VATICAN CITY — In an unexpected and unprecedented statement, the Pope* has condemned the Paris Olympic opening ceremony for what...
BREAKING: Dozens turn to salt when looking at Eiffel Tower
FRANCE- Dozens of people from around the globe have been mysteriously turning into pillars of salt throughout the City of...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
Pope Francis excommunicates Archbishop Viganò for being ‘too Catholic’
Pope Francis has officially excommunicated Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò for being "too Catholic," leaving the disgraced cleric to fend for...
BREAKING: Pope Francis excommunicates Harrison Butker for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN—Pope Francis has announced that he is personally excommunicating Kansas City Chiefs' kicker Harrison Butker from the Catholic Church for...
Pro-Hamas college feminists excited to become second class under Sharia law
In a shocking display of ideological confusion, a group of pro-Hamas college students, who also identify as "feminists," have expressed...
Gavin Newsom threatens to blot out the sun again if we don’t sacrifice a million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg this year
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued an ultimatum to the world: sacrifice 1 million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg...
BREAKING: Don Lemon marries notorious terrorist and ‘biggest threat to America’
NEW YORK CITY—Former CNN anchor Don Lemon has announced his marriage to notorious terrorist and "biggest threat to America," Tim...
Biden to hang 6 Easter Bunnies in honor of Trans Visibility Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be personally hanging six Easter...
