BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors...
Education
BREAKING: Police Release Image of Brown University Shooting Suspect
PROVIDENCE, RI — In a bold move to accelerate the capture of the gunman responsible for Saturday's tragic shooting at...
Gen Z Olympics: Dutch Unknown Casually Scrolls Past Germany to Win Inaugural 200 m Doomscroll Gold
PARIS (GT) – In a result that has left German sports psychologists quietly scheduling emergency sessions, an unheralded 23-year-old from...
Ball State Cancels Entire Health Department After Director’s Failed Results
MUNCIE, IN — In a move that has left academics and alumni scratching their heads, Ball State University has abruptly...
College grad shocked to learn that ‘all that debt literally had to be paid back at some point’
Denison, OH—Recent college grad, Anita Lawyer, said she was surprised when her mom and dad informed her that the $226,000...
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt
As America’s tariff wars reshape the global economy, a vocal army of self-styled “tariff experts”—ordinary folks with strong opinions and...
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack
US—In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the scientific community red-faced and Catholic school alumni smirking, a coalition of nuns...
Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster
In a feat of stoic endurance that left even the most jaded Capitol Hill observers in awe, Senate Minority Leader...
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!”
In a stunning display of political stamina and theatrical flair, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) concluded a grueling 17-hour filibuster on...
BREAKING: Fedral Judge Signs Temperairy Restrayneing Ordur To Save Dept Of Educ.
In a stunnin display of judishul prowiss, Federal Judge Ray Sist, a shinin star of America’s edukashun sistem, scribbled his...
