Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination
US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...
Health
Man eaten by shark dies from white supremacy coronavirus
(CNN) CORONADO, CA—Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying...
CDC recommends 4th booster shot for those who haven’t died yet
ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) is now recommending a fourth COVID vaccine booster shot for all of...
FDA agrees to use children in deadly experiments instead of dogs
WASHINGTON, DC—Following outrage about Dr. Anthony Fauci's use of beagles in horrible experiments, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has...
CNN: Fauci’s dog torture experiments were mostly peaceful
(CNN) The Republicans are leading another witch hunt against Dr. Anthony Fauci, who conducted mostly peaceful dog torture experiments while...
BREAKING: Biden adds Pfizer to US flag, Pledge of Allegiance
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden yesterday announced that he is adding Pfizer to the official US flag and the Pledge of Allegiance...
Bill Gates to constantly stroke a white cat to solidify his role as global supervillain
REDMOND, WA—Renowned tech and biotech mogul Bill Gates has decided he will carry around a white cat and stroke it...
BREAKING: COVID-19 has died after infecting Chuck Norris at age 81
DALLAS—COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, which has wrecked havoc across the globe, has been declared dead after infecting Chuck Norris. "We...
Colin Powell dies from COVID-19 shortly after dying from cancer
WASHINGTON, DC—Colin Powell, who served Democratic and Republican presidents in war and peace but whose sterling reputation was forever stained...
BREAKING: Biden bans assault breathing; mandates holding breath while in public
WASHINGTON, DC—In the ongoing fight against the deadliest disease ever, President* Joe Biden has outlawed assault breathing and mandated that...
