Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on keto diet
Claus has been very effective at his annual gift-giving spree Christmas Eve, but this year may be the best year...
Health
Elizabeth Warren will wear scarf drenched with the blood of aborted fetuses to her inauguration
Massachusetts senator and Democrat presidential contender Elizabeth Warren told a crowd during a campaign stop Monday that she intends to...
BREAKING: Nadler rushed to hospital for heart attack; cured by loosening belt buckle
Representative Jerrold Nadler who has been a key player in the impeachment of Donald Trump was rushed to the hospital...
BREAKING: Dozens of activists die of asphyxiation while holding breath to fight climate change
Led by Green New Deal coauthor and scientific mastermind Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, hundreds of climate activists held their breath for over...
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack
London Mayor Sadiq Khan has promised to ban knives harder after the latest terrorist knife attack in London. "Killing people...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg to video conference next Supreme Court sittings from 7th Circle of Hell
Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will video conference into the next few sittings from her new confines in...
Get 100 ‘Epstein’ Lights that don’t hang themselves for $19.99
While supplies last! These wonderful Epstein brand mini lights that don't hang themselves come with a lifetime guarantee—just like Jeffrey...
BREAKING: Joe Biden comes out as a ‘keratinsexual’
In the gender fluid world of today, there has been yet another group oppressed by the Christian Conservative Merica Gun-Toting...
London’s Khan bans fire extinguishers and narwhal tusks after they were used to stop terror attack
London Mayor Sadiq Khan has banned all fire extinguishers and Narwhal tusks after two civilians used the devices to stop...
Fetuses self-identifying as pit bulls after Trump signs federal animal cruelty ban into law
In a rare display of political unity, President Trump on Monday signed a bipartisan bill that, for the first time,...
