Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
Health
BREAKING: Hunter Biden tests positive for every disease except COVID
US—During this global health crisis, austere businessman Hunter Biden has tested positive for every disease except for COVID, which is...
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
BREAKING: Republicans trick Biden into taking a cognition test by telling him it’s a COVID test
WASHINGTON, DC—US House Republicans have been trying to trick President* Joe Biden into taking a cognition test since the oldest...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws attempts to stop the spread of monkeypox as a hate crime
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has outlawed any attempt to try to stop the spread of monkey pox as a hate...
Biden Administration Changes the Definition of ‘Dementia’
As Americans continue to question President Biden's mental fitness and competency, the White House proudly announced updates to the Department...
FACT CHECK: It’s perfectly normal to not blink for several minutes straight
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Several conspiracy theories have emerged following a social media post by President Joe Biden in which he doesn't...
WHO proposes 14-day halt to all gay sex to slow the spread of monkeypox
NEW YORK—The World Health Organization (WHO) has proposed a halt to all gay sex to stop the spread of Monkeypox....
BREAKING: Biden tests negative for IQ, experiencing mild symptoms
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Joe Biden said Thursday that he's tested negative for IQ but will continue to work while in isolation...
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, risk to all of society, person wins Wimbledon
WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND—An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world:...
